All I Know I Learned From My Mother: Mother's Day 2012

May 10, 2012

Mom,

The only thing you need more than sleep and meat on your bones –neither of which I can give to you—is as much love, admiration, respect, and confidence in yourself as I have in you. 

You are a woman of completeness. You have power, tenderness, drive, humor, strength, humility, spirit, resilience, and beauty. You are a work of art and it is an undeniable privilege to be your daughter; to grow with you and learn from you. 

If there is one thing I could give you for Mother’s Day, it would be the opportunity to see yourself through my eyes. 

You are one of the hardest workers I have ever met. You have made incredible sacrifices and persevered under every circumstance to provide for our family.  Not only did your work ethic and determination enable our family to assume a comfortable lifestyle, they also made it possible for you to climb ladders and make a name for yourself. You are a woman of prestige, independence, and intelligence. Although the monetary benefits I reaped from your paychecks (dance lessons, vacations, and new clothes) were wonderful, it was never your paycheck that made me proud. Instead, it was the drive and steadfastness you displayed in your career. Your example taught me that women are just as capable and deserving as men. You taught me to work hard, set goals, and fight for what I want. You always push me to do well in school and to continue my education. You encourage me to do what I love and not to be afraid of testing my limits. I am brave and determined because you are my mother.

You put everybody else first 100% of the time. You always put someone else’s agenda, happiness, success, and problems above your own. Occasionally, your own name doesn’t even round out the top ten list of people you’re worried about. You’re too concerned about everyone else’s wellbeing to even notice when yours is slipping. You are the purest example of a selfless, good-hearted, Christian.  I truly believe that it is actions like that that echo Christianity more loudly than even memorized scripture stories and record-setting church attendance. You are far more than words… Your beliefs radiate through your actions. I have gained so much from your selfless example. My whirlwind childhood didn’t have regular family prayers or scripture study, but I can honestly say that I have come to understand so much about the gospel solely from your example of humility and service. I know God because you are my mother.

You never rest and your hobbies are endless. Maybe it’s something that comes with age and motherhood, but I fear I will never be the triple threat that you are. Your Sunday dinners are always deliciously executed. You’re a cleaning-machine with a house whose surfaces I would actually dare lick. You read one book after another and your way with words is incredible. You mow the lawn, weed the garden, and go to extremes to ensure our grass is greener than any of the neighbors. You are admired as much by our dogs as you are by your children. You can walk for miles (500, I’d bet!) and you’ve become quite the flexible “yogie.” Nobody holds a candle to your quick wit, sarcasm, sense of humor, and comebacks. You’re a fun, patient, loving grandmother with grandkids who adore you. You’re a wife and a mother. You’re a friend, a sister, and a daughter. You have so many facets and so much to offer. It is amazing –and exhausting—to watch you juggle all your talents, roles, hobbies, and chores. I have unrealistic expectations for my own abilities as a wife and mother because you are my mother. 

You love me wholly and completely. Part of the job description of being a mother is to love your child, but only the mediocre stop there. You have taken love, belonging, support, and friendship to the next level. Throughout my young life, no matter how far I strayed –literally or figuratively—I’ve never stepped so far as to no longer be worthy of your love. I’m starting to realize that there isn’t such a place. No matter where I go or what I’m doing, I know I’m loved unconditionally by a mother who is proud of me, supporting me, who would do anything to see me happy, and is cheering me along every step of the way. I am sure of myself and know my self-worth because you are my mother.

You are my best friend. I have never known a friend to be so constant, reliable, and empathetic. You listen to each of my fears and hesitations and take them upon yourself. You see my shortcomings and love me regardless. You feel my sadness, frustration, guilt, anger, and confusion with just as much wrath and fury as I do. Your advice is always heartfelt and inspired. You have an uncanny ability to say exactly what I need to hear… And in those times you’re at a loss for words, just the warmth and reassurance of your strong, soft arms around me is enough to settle my nerves.  Never have I had a friend who knows me so well and cares about me so much. I am truly blessed to have you for a mother... Not only to rely on when things get tough, but to enjoy the ride with. What good is a best friend if you can’t have fun with her!? You are a good time! Nobody holds a candle to your sense of humor and I love that I have a mother that I can laugh with. You brighten up any room and I enjoy basking in your company. No matter how simple or uneventful the day might be, I am thrilled just by the thought of spending it with you. You are wonderful company and a wonderful friend. I know the priceless simple pleasure of having good friends because you are my mother.

You are beautiful. I have spent my entire life looking at you in awe and admiring your beauty. I still remember being five years old and looking so closely at your face with one pudgy, dirty little hand on each of your cheeks as you held me in your arms. I was convinced, then, that my mother was the most beautiful woman in the world. I still stand by that claim. You are a woman of unparalleled beauty. Both inside and out. There’s no greater compliment I could receive than “You look just like your mother!” I am honored to be your daughter and to have been thrown into a pool of such good genes. You have a strong body that you have taken insanely good care of. Your hair, skin, eyes, smile, hands, and yes, even your wrinkles, and the stories and memories they all hold, make you a timeless and beautiful woman. Your outer-beauty has only gotten better with age and your inner-beauty radiates from within. I am delighted to stand in your shadow and can only hope to someday compare to the beauty you emanate. Despite my intense fear of getting old, I have something to look forward to because you are my mother.

You are resilient. You have been dealt your fair share of hard hands in life and I gawk at your grace and poise as you play them. No matter what is thrown at you, you stand strong. There have been very few times I’ve seen you knocked down and, even then, I would have missed it had I blinked. You have never been one to stay down for very long. You always get right back up –whether it’s to roll with the punches or fight back, you do it all with dignity and style from your feet. Your resilience comes from a surplus of qualities that you possess: strength, forgiveness, and determination, to name a few. I am always impressed by your ability to keep moving regardless of the turmoil life has shackled at your feet. You move forward for yourself and you move forward for the many people relying on you. You are a beacon of hope and an example to those of us who aren’t near as strong. I admire your ability to forgive, to save face, to bounce back, to laugh it off, to stand up for yourself, to move on, to set your foot down, to not flinch, and to be true to yourself. You know who you are and you know what you want out of life. You forgive those that need forgiving, love those who are there for you, and say “to hell with you” to the doubters, ridiculers, and nonbelievers. You may live a simple life with little significance to the rest of the world, but your resilience has moved mountains in mine. I look up to you with an overflow of respect and amazement. I know the woman who I someday hope to become because you are my mother.

Mom, I hope you know how loved you are. Not only by me, but by all of your friends, family, and everyone who has been lucky enough to have had you touch their lives. You are truly a blessing in my life and in the lives of many others. You have spent the last 21 years loving me, supporting me, building me up, and being my example. If I am of any worth at all, it is because of you. I am forever in your debt. It is so important to me that you understand your own worth the way that you have convinced me of mine. You are the most deserving woman in the world. Happiness is all around you and begging to be consumed. Most importantly, there are a million and one brilliant things going on inside you that are worth being happy about. You are powerful, tender, smart, driven, funny, strong, talented, humble, spirited, resilient, selfless, and beautiful. No matter what the outside elements may be –how hard the storms are raging and how hopeless things might seem—I hope you can muster peace, confidence, and happiness from within with the obvious knowledge of how great, deserving, and loved you are. It is imperative that you understand how highly regarded you are. So many people love you and admire you. I hope, for one second, that you may be able to step back from your role of taking care of everybody else to acknowledge your own accomplishments and to find pride in the indestructible woman that you are. If only you saw yourself through my eyes, you would understand what all the fuss is about! You are an incredible mother, wife, sister, daughter, grandmother, and friend. You are an incredible person!

I love you, Mom!

Happy Mother’s Day!

Miss you lots and lots.

XOXO,

Wit